How to use your feelings as clues to move forward

Maybe you feel unappreciated or looked over at work or in relationships.

Maybe you’re waiting for some recognition or feel resentful about how much you’re putting into something and not getting any positive results back.

Maybe you call yourself an idiot every time you drop something or make a mistake, and it repeats in your head over and over and over.

Maybe you feel frustrated about why no one else can see your hard work, efforts and potential, no matter what you do.


All these situations can bring up feelings of anger, resentment, shame, neediness and guilt.  They are draining feelings and not useful, and they are especially not healthy if we keep them stored up over long periods of time.

However, they can be useful information for us too.  When we become aware of how we feel, we can use it as a clue that your self-criticism is taking over.

Instead, bring out your cheerleader, your best friend, your feel good comments to yourself. How, you ask?

It took me a while to realise that my self-criticism was way worse than anyone else’s criticism of me. It was like a part time job in self-abuse. The negative self-talk is no way at the levels it used to be two years ago, but it’s like any practice, it requires consistency and sometimes review.

New situations and fears can bring up criticism again, so here are some easy ways I use to neutralise the criticism if it comes up…


You are your own superhero and you can do this.


Positive support and reassurance from others is awesome, but if we’re relying only on that, then there comes a time when we feel incomplete without it, or create an expectation for others to appreciate or reward us.


This is one of the biggest positive learnings and positive impact I have had on my mental state and health. It’s where my coaching clients have made the biggest jumps and moved forward out of their stuck, negative cycles.


Here are some other free resources that you can use, if you want to explore this further.


You can also speak with me about how I broke through the negative self-talk and guided others to do the same. It’s life changing. The body feels lighter, the work and relationships feel easier, there is more energy to do the things I want to do. Rejection doesn’t hurt so much and neither do mistakes. It gets easier and easier to accept what didn’t work out and move on.


This article covers self-compassion which is so useful with negative self-talk and self-criticism. The tools are real and practical and can be built into your rhythm or routine over time, and I use some of these myself on a regular basis.



As part of my self-love research project, I am interviewing people on how to create more self-love and what gets in the way. Here is one of the talks, specifically covering our self-criticism amongst many other things!


If you’d like to go deeper into feeling free of your self-criticism, my free online workshop “How to Stop Hating Yourself” is available below, no email address or commitment required. I would enjoy hearing from you on how you found it, if you’d like to share.


I feel strongly about helping myself and others live the happiest, healthiest and wholehearted life that we can. I share as much free content as possible, and have digital courses and private coaching options available.

Contact me through message on any of the social platforms, or read more here:



Amarjot x

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